The Ballad of Bill Haywith, Part I: A Hypocrite Hippie

Bill Haywith has a problem...

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"I thought Hippies didn't care about stuff?"

It's a weird question, and probably more a revelation of my lack of knowledge about what the term "Hippie" actually means and what it encompasses than anything. Fortunately for me, with the internet at my fingertips, it wasn't long until I ascertained a solid definition: 

"...a person, especially of the late 1960s, who: 

• rejected established institutions and values;
• sought spontaneity, direct personal relations expressing love, and expanded consciousness;
• often expressed externally in the wearing of casual, folksy clothing and of beads, headbands, used garments, etc."

For good measure, I'll add to that: "opposed to violence and war (proponent of peace); places little or no value on material objects."

And then it hit me: Bill Haywith is a hypocrite. Or, at the very least, a man living out of alignment. His philosophy and his actions are in stark contradiction throughout Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Home Again. While very much a "hippie" externally, through his appearance and other details sprinkled throughout the film, his behavior towards Norman points to an internal disconnect which begins to outwardly erode the "peace and love" mentality we've come to associate with his generation. By examining this disconnect between his "hippie" philosophy, and his apparent conflict with Norman, we get insight into the mind (and heart) of Bill Haywith.

Totally Hippie

Rita was right---by all accounts, her parents are the definition of Hippies, and not just because they chose to spontaneously make a trip to meet their future son-in-law:

Bill is without a doubt a product of the 1960's. It's most obvious in his clothing, musical preferences, attendance at Woodstock, eco-friendly roots and preference for communal living. I mean, Evelyn (Sunny) fell in love at first sight as he handed a daisy to a National Guardsmen as part of anti-war protest, for goodness sake!

On a more philosophical level, though, Bill also bucks the establishment in his lament of Wally's Wacky Waffle World, and reveals a moment in which he opted for "direct personal relations expressing love" as he recounts telling Sunny "the only sunrise we're going to see today is the sun in your eyes" a way of saying "I love you without actually saying [it]."

But it's the element of "expanded consciousness" where things start to get a little murky. His t-shirt challenges us to "Imagine whirled peas" ("imagine world peace" for anyone who might not have caught the play on words), but when it comes to Norman, not only does his field of thought seem to narrow, it produces anything but peace.

Not So Hippie

From the moment Norman crashed his way into Bistro Ramon, it seemed Bill was looking for any reason to disparage or discourage Norman, whether directly or indirectly:

"He lost your engagement ring---what does that say about a guy? I'm sorry, it's...it's just not what I imagined for you."

This line really encompasses the two areas in which Bill goes from "hippie" to "hypocrite." The value he placed on the ring, and his focus on what "he imagined" for Rita, are the primary lenses through which we get a picture of how Bill's "expanded consciousness" narrowed, and see exactly how things went wrong.

The Ring Thing
If Hippie's place little or no value on material objects, Sunny's blended bifocals should have been no big deal. By extension, the lost ring should have, technically, also been no big deal. What should have taken precedence was Norman's intention to marry her, and the connection between he and Rita underlying that commitment. After all, marriage (an "established institution" which, by definition, Bill should have rejected, but clearly engaged in by marrying Rita's mother), is about so much more than just the ring. But by fixating on something superficial, Bill excused himself from having to look any deeper at Norman and Rita's connection.

Perhaps if Norman losing the ring was the first in a string of serious red flags that presented themselves as Bill got to know Norman, it might have made more sense. But the truth of the matter is, it seems from the moment Bill heard the ring was AWOL, he began to apply strict scrutiny to everything from Norman's "tummy issues" to his mental state, and rejected every attempt by Norman to connect with him. It's quite the extreme behavior for a rift that, by all accounts, shouldn't have even existed if Bill had adhered to his core philosophical principles.

A Narrow Way
The ring debacle, however, is only a symptom of a much deeper internal conflict, which, unfortunately, manifests itself in Bill's behavior towards Norman. 

It's very clear Bill had some sort of picture of with whom Rita should be spending the rest of her life. In this picture, there's something to be said about the kind of man that loses an engagement ring. Furthermore, Rita's suitor doesn't lose her ring, and, most likely, doesn't blend his wife's bifocals. This is dangerously narrow-minded, non-specific (and non-hippie) criteria. It's the tell-tale sign of a father with limited perspective. What is clear is that Norman doesn't meet Bill's self-imposed standard, perhaps prompting, and even permitting his behavior and aloofness towards Norman throughout Home Again.

Notice that Bill's image also doesn't have any basis in what Rita sees as being her ideal life partner. Shane was right, "Father's want what's best for their daughters," but the caveat is that what each the father and daughter envision might not match. Here, Bill's vision lacks any real definition, and what he does cite is arbitrary, and arguably superficial. Rita's definition, however, was very specific, and the detailed picture she painted not only spoke of Norman's heart, but also provided a mirror for Bill that was just enough to convict him about his behavior.

Hope For The "Hypocrite"

Rita's sharp correction of her father was the wake up call he needed. Bill's perspective had narrowed so decisively that neither Sunny, nor Joe, possessed the capability of widening it, despite their repeated attempts to subtly do so over the course of the film. Given that Rita, and his love and expectations for her, were at the core of Bill's conflict to begin with, it only made sense their eventual confrontation possessed the ability to correct the status quo and expand Bill's consciousness where Norman was concerned.

A consequence of Bill's narrowing perspective is that, in the end, it became selfish to some degree. What's important about Rita's response to her father is that it required him to observe the situation from her perspective, forcing Bill's perspective to something outside of himself. Perhaps to Bill's surprise, the attributes Rita sees in Norman were a reflection of him. It's hard to alienate someone that's a reflection of yourself, right? On a more superficial level, Rita's rebuttal is completely divorced from any mention of the ring, the absence of which seemed to set Bill off course in the first place. By framing her perspective this way, Rita places the value of Norman's character over the ring---absent or present---entirely.

This reality check was critical to how Bill perceived Norman when he returned to the DLO with Rita and Sunny that evening to re-propose. Not only did Norman challenge Bill's assumptions about what happened with the ring, he used its construction as an owl to express the qualities in Rita with which he fell in love, qualities which Norman attributed Bill with instilling. What Norman sees in Rita clearly extended beyond the ring, and his words to her created a connection with Bill's heart where Rita is concerned. The impact was immediately clear when Bill extended his hand and, with a simple "nice job," welcomed Norman to the family.  

We don't know it until the next evening, but Norman's "direct personal...expression [of his] love" for Rita also reminded Bill of his values. Bill's admission, "You teach your kid to love, and then you act like a jerk when they go out and do it" expresses his recognition that he actively violated this specific principle in particular, for which he apologized to Norman for "being so hard on him." Reconciling with Norman, Bill's actions and values once again realigned.

Throughout Home Again, Bill exhibited the core characteristics of a "hippie" in many aspects of his life. When it came to his future son-in-law, however, Bill's increasingly narrowed perspective, triggered, in part, by the absence of Rita's ring, caused him to become a bit of a hypocrite. At the same time, it caused the focus of his struggle to remain superficial, rejecting Norman, and alienating Rita, in the process. Only when Rita confronted her father's narrow-mindedness was Bill's superficial assessment challenged in a way that widened his consciousness, while simultaneously deepening his understanding of Norman and Rita's connection. This, and Norman's heartfelt proposal, ultimately allowed Bill to not only identify his error, but reconcile the disconnect between his heart and mind.

Of course, looking at Bill's "hippie" philosophy is only one---purposely "narrow"---angle through which we can understand his struggle throughout Home Again. Thursday, we'll see Bill from another side. 

Figuring Him Out,
~C

The Ballad Of Bill Haywith: A Hypocrite Hippie | Displaced Dad