In early 2016, while recovering from my surgery, I fell down some stairs and broke my foot and actually walked on it for three weeks before going to a doctor. I had to wear a cast or boot and use crutches for three months. When I finally got the cast off, I managed to re-injure it, which led to another surgery and more rehabilitation. During that period, the company that I worked for shut down, so I was also unemployed.
In 2017, while still unemployed, I started falling quite a bit and kept walking towards the right side. After an MRI, I was diagnosed with lesions on the lining of my brain. I had to see a neurologist who prescribed two more MRI tests and a lot of blood work. Finally, I received a diagnosis that caught me off guard. I have multiple sclerosis and my neurologist believed I have had it for years. When I asked how this was possible, she said the symptoms may have shown up so sporadically, that each symptom was treated without connection to the others. Luckily, I had talked to my husband and daughter about what I wanted to ask in order to get the answers I needed during the appointment, because as soon as I heard “multiple sclerosis,” I lost it and cried.
After a night of complete anger, and a yard work session of mulching of any leaf that fell off of our trees instead of raking and bagging,I had a marathon of the SSD shows and movies on my DVR. By the time it was over, any anger that I had, was gone. I also realized my anger over everything that has happened was misplaced. I had blamed God, like so many do when so much bad happens. But with the help of these shows and Oliver's show of faith, I prayed. I prayed long and non-stop. I cried and most of all, I apologized to God. Before anything is said, I know God doesn't expect my apology but I "had" to because He did not deserve my anger at Him.
Since that day I have a new outlook on things. Yes, I had two surgeries---but I met so many people I wouldn't normally have. Yes, we had a fire---but it was contained to one room and we have fresh paint, new carpet and a remodeled second floor bathroom, so we have to only work on the first floor rooms. Yes, Brutus passed away---but we had over 10 years of good times with him. My husband informed me that I have a weird sense of humor because I was making jokes about losing part of my mind with the brain lesions. I told him that I could sit and cry, but that wasn’t going to change anything. Couldn’t I make jokes and help people relax around me because a diagnosis doesn't change who I am?
I so appreciated such inspirational messages and I look forward to each new movie.
The Living Letters series continues as long as there are stories (or even praise reports) to share, and I'm always looking for submissions. If you would like to contribute something about how Signed, Sealed, Delivered has impacted your life (or even your wardrobe) that you'd be willing to share here on A&D, feel free to email me. Keep the good going and submit yours today!