"You people are crazy."
"A popular theory."
I was one of the lucky people who discovered Signed, Sealed, Delivered from the Pilot. I watch a lot of TV of all genres, including a lot of rather dark crime shows that sometimes make me worried for the future of humanity. But then comes a show like SSD that reminds me that there is good in this world - kind, honourable people who value faith and hope and love, "being ... honest and fair and excellent and kind."
I watched all the original episodes and every rerun I could find. The original channel quit airing them so I obsessively searched my guide and managed to find and watch all the movies through Impossible Dream. Then came a long year when I couldn't find anything (I'm in Canada, so we don't get Hallmark channels). Obsessive Googling found Alameda & Downing, and I discovered that I had missed From the Heart, and One in a Million was right around the corner, but nowhere to be found (at the time) on Canadian airwaves. But I found this site. My first reaction was Shane's quote from the pilot, above. But hey, turns out I'm crazy too (sorry, "dedicated"), and the more I read, the more I was charmed, delighted, and had my eyes opened with new insight. And then I joined twitter, for the sole purpose of keeping up with SSD news, and discovered a family I have never met.
I had always thought myself to be a person of faith, but my faith has taken a bit of a beating the past while. You see, while anxiously and impatiently waiting for the premiere of Higher Ground, I was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 cancer, while at the same time my mom was reaching the end of her journey with the very same disease. I watched Higher Ground with a hollow, empty feeling inside of me, and seeing Oliver losing his faith that Shane would come back resonated strongly with me as a lack of faith in what my future might hold. Even all the beautiful connections to the previous episodes/movies felt like a farewell. And I was desperately not ready to say goodbye.
But I can't forget about my family. While I pulled away from twitter and social media to focus on the people in my life (the ones I've actually met), there was an outpouring of love and letters from the POstables, this online community of kind, caring people. Like Shane breaking into tears in The Treasure Box, I have been so scared. But there is love - lots of love - like was found in those letters that made their way to me. And when, like Shane, I forgot how to pray, I know I have been wrapped in prayers without even asking. And that hollowness inside me began to fill up again.
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free,
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."
These days, I find myself clinging to Eleanor's words (via Oliver) from Lost Without You - "Death is nothing to be scared of, honey...but it is something to prepare for." I have been told my treatments are palliative, not curative, and I am doing my best to live up to the strong, courageous example that my mom set for me. And I am doing my best to "Hand it Over." I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. And as for the present, I am so grateful for the support of ALL my family and friends - the ones I have met, and the ones I haven't. Thanks, POstables.
As always, the Living Letters series continues as long as there are stories to share, and I'm always looking for submissions. If you would like to contribute something about how Signed, Sealed, Delivered has impacted your life that you'd be willing to share here on A&D, feel free to email me.