You see, I am a great deal like Oliver. I crave stability and routine, but the last five years of my life have been a whirlwind of of crazy change, some good, some bad, and some just plain hard, but crazy all the same.
Growing up, I always dreamed that I would get married young and raise a bunch of babies. I never had dreams for any kind of career, so I even majored in early childhood education in college, thinking that it would help me to be a better mother. The problem is, I am now thirty-five, with no husband on the horizon, so the last five years have been a struggle to figure out what I am supposed to do instead.
In past five years, I have moved many times, not just to a different neighborhood nearby, but halfway across the country and back, then four hours north and back. I have also held many different jobs through this time.
Clearly, this has not been a time of great stability, however, it was during this time that Signed, Sealed, Delivered entered the picture. This wonderful show premiered about a year and a half into the seeming madness, and I was drawn to it immediately - from the first airing of the Pilot movie. I know that I can never adequately explain all of the ways that this show has impacted me, but I shall endeavor to give some examples.
Then along came From Paris with Love. I related strongly with Oliver in that movie. My heart was hurting, it was frozen. I needed to acknowledge the hurt so that I could move on. I was still struggling, but spring was coming!
At this time, I had been working as a nanny. This was not my first nanny position, but it was the first family that I really struggled with. I loved my little “Bubba,” but his parents and their giant poorly trained dog were almost more than I could handle. I had been trying to find a new job since about six months into this position. I applied to countless jobs and had been on over twenty interviews, but I ended up working for this family for nearly two years.
A line from Truth Be Told that hit me hard was when Shane said, “Oliver, don’t be cynical. It’s not who you are.” I had been very cynical, and it was not who I really was either, but God was giving me a chance to to branch out. It also became an opportunity for me to gain confidence and to heal. This move meant that I had scores of time to spend by myself and with God. We talked a lot. Tears were shed. I finally broke down and told Him everything that was on my heart. Of course, He already knew, but I needed to get it off of my chest. There was so much hurt and disappointment that I had kept bottled up inside for so long, and I finally able to let it go and learn to trust God again.
Unfortunately, I did not get to stay in that job for very long, which led to the conversation with my mom. However, my time there served a divine purpose, and now God is leading me to what I hope and pray is my higher ground.
The Living Letters series will continue as long as there are stories to share. If you would like to contribute something about how Signed, Sealed, Delivered has impacted your life that you'd be willing to share here on A&D, feel free to email me.